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Stretching.Twisting.Breathing. by ~hermitageinrussia:iconhermitageinrussia:





Flash.
            Light.
                         C
                         r
                         y
                         i
                         n
                         g
             Red lips.
             White sheets.
                                     Dirty mattress
            Screa
            min
            g.
Words.
                         In                               coheren                      cy.
Green leaves.                 Chirping.Barking.Meowing.


Slamming.
                               Closing.
                                            F
                                               A
                                                   L
                                                      L
                                                         I
                                                            N
                                                               G.
Silver flashing.
Florescent-lighting.
                                              Sun rise.
                                              Sunset.
                                              White.


Blank.


Lying quietly under tattered sheets.
Shadows making designs
a dark finger traced,
Quietly.
Hovering over,
Red Lips
and teary eyes.
Staring blankly.
Tears splashing on taut skin.
Smirking slightly,
smirking gently.
Smirking thin lips.
Chapped,
running into dry skin.
Thin skin.
Taut skin.
Red Lips above parting,
moving,
mumbling.
Incoherent messages.
Red Lips moved out of sight.
Footsteps echoed on tiles.
Movement toward the door.
Slam.


A window on that grey wall.
Stirring outside.
Bright green leaves.
Insects moving,
        singing.
Squirrels scuttling.
In, out.
        In, out.
Breathing patterns.
Sun setting behind
leaves, colors on the walls,
for a moment.
Dead eyes staring at the ceiling.
Two sets of dead eyes.
Two noses sniffling.
Two mouths smirking.


Stretching,
             wrinkling,
                        crackling,
                                             fading.
Dark,
light,
pat
ches,
             incons  istent tones.


S t r e t c h i n g ,
T
  w
     i
   s
  t
i
  n
     g,
ready to
burst.
                                                                   One.
                                                                   last.


                                                                  breath.





Two headed boy, I wish I was you. You won’t be alone in Hell.




                                                                                                                                           Breathe.

©2005-2010 ~hermitageinrussia
:iconhermitageinrussia:

Author's Comments

Gosh darnit! I thought i'd never write poetry. But this story wouldn't work as a story. I had to do it this way. I had to write it. And i'm almost happy with it. Comments would make my day.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconcaeruleus-flamma:
wow the layout is exquisite u shud have put this under typographical though =P nah it's great ur writing poetry faveiing cuz it's a rly unique style

--
I am me, no I am me, no I am me
:iconhermitageinrussia:
Thank you very much! I wasn't quite sure if I over did it with the layout of it or not, I didn't think I did, but there was that doubt. Thank you for the reassurance! :)

--
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
:iconcaeruleus-flamma:
no you didn't it worked out great loads of emphasise

--
I am me, no I am me, no I am me
:iconsquintz:
Pretty damn good. I am like you in the fact that I am really picky about poetry. I haven't found many poets on DA that could write a piece with as much, for a lack of better words, literary beauty as you have created here.

I love the switch between the incoherency and confusion induced by the twisted layout and the clarifying voice of the solid stanzas. Nice.

--
Knowledge Is Power And We Are All So Weak
:iconhermitageinrussia:
Thank you, and i'm glad i'm not the only one that doesn't like poetry that much. I have yet to find stuff on deviantart that I like for poetry, though I can't say that i've read that much of it.

--
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
:iconphantamagora:
Wow. The layout makes it great...but this is a definite :+fav:

--
:gallery: [link]

Jessica. Not your average Deviant.
:iconhermitageinrussia:
thank you very much! :)

--
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
:iconnuminainferna:
Hi! Just thought I'd pop over and take a peek at your work, since you were so nice as to comment on mine.

I really like this piece - especially the end sentence, it made me smirk. I have to say, I'm not keen on the vertical/diagonal one-letter-per-line layout for some of the words, but that's just my personal taste. It works well in this piece, so who am I to say it shouldn't be there just 'cause I don't like it? Hee.

Overall this is brilliant, it really is.

One little niggle I had though, was that you've used "Taught"... that's a participle of "teach."
I -think- you meant "taut", as in stretched, but I suppose you could teach skin. With a -stick-. That'll learn it. Erm...sorry, flashback ;) I'm a spelling nazi, anyhow.
:iconhermitageinrussia:
I'm glad you have some honesty in you, enough to say that you don't like something at least. I'm actually not completely fond of it either in some places, but I couldn't resist doing it and it seemed to fall into place. I may go back and look over some of the words and see if any of them should be adjusted a bit. Or I might just fool around with them a bit and see if they work better other ways.

Thanks for the spelling nazi thing. I spell all right most of the time, but there are some words that normally catch me. I'll go back and fix that up.

Thank you for the comment.

--
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Details

April 3, 2005
3.5 KB
1.6 MB
1207×1512

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